What is optimism? Is it the unwavering belief that everything is good and things will be fine all the time? No, of course it isn’t – it is the ability to see the bright side of things in a realistic fashion.
The ability to look at the sunny side of life is a highly desirable trait in both adults and children.
Nobody likes a complainer – people enjoy being with others when they’re cheerful even in the face of adversity. Helping children to be optimistic in life involves a lot of practice because you yourself might not have pinned down the habit of optimism yourself!
Begin with you
Start by recognising any pessimistic traits you yourself might be guilty of. Do you find yourself complaining about the inevitable? Coming out with negative phrases often? Take notice of your own habits and if they’re on the negative side, try to alter that.
Children look to us for an example of how to behave and language is powerful. Here are some examples of commonly used negative phrases and positive ones which you can replace them with.
- I can’t complain – when asked how you are, rather than saying the arguably negative phrase, replace it with something positive such as “I’m well thanks”
- I’m so tired – can easily be replaced with the more positive “I need to rest soon”
- Oh no I forgot – don’t make a drama out of small mistakes, instead, try phrases like “I must remember to do X”
- Don’t forget to – again, it’s more positive to focus on the positive action rather than the negative so instead of instructing someone “not to forget” try instructing them to remember, “Please remember to do the washing up” is much more powerful than “Don’t forget to do the washing up”
- Don’t run in the house – alter this to “Please run outside”. Other instructions can be phrased in this way too – “Don’t throw that ball inside” just needs shifting to “It’s lovely outside, please throw the ball in the garden”
These simple changes will shed a different light on your child’s concept of life in general.
Remember to look on the bright side
If things do go wrong, remember to frame the experience in a positive light. For example, you fail an exam – don’t complain about how difficult it was, see it as an opportunity to learn more effectively next time. It’s raining outside and you can’t go to the park – remember to mention how you love the sound of rain on the windows and how nice it is to watch the rain outside whilst you sit inside with a hot drink.
Teaching your child to make the best of things will stand them in good stead once they start school. At this pre-prep school in North London, children are regularly challenged and praised for taking on new challenges and this helps create well-rounded, cheerful children who are happy to try and see the best in things. At school your child will be faced with many challenges both social and academic. If they’re positive and optimistic, then not only will they find things easier but other children will naturally be drawn to them.